y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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