you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
