Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
