If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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