I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Randomize