i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
