; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
