ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
