These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
