I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
sex in a hospital.. check
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
