is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
