and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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