I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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