all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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