you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
