I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
