Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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