People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
