My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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