sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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mondays should just be called national damage control day
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
