Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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