is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
