yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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