why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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