guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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