ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
