i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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