just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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