Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
