; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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