How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
