His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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