i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
