You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize