dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
