mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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