I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Houston, we have a blender
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
