allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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