I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
