piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i think i have two assholes
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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