1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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