Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
