I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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