My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
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