Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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