Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize