i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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