whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
