I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
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She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Sex in the backyard? Check.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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