Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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