I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
