I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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