Can Purell be used as lube?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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