I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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