i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
