I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Drunk is not a location!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
