I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
