I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
